“Where do I begin… At first I was on-and-off doing any kind of drug that was handed to me. The first drug I ever did was Suboxone. I loved the feeling it gave me and [so I became] somewhat hooked on that. I went doctor shopping and found a doctor to give me Suboxone and I started abusing that for a couple years. At first, I was so scared to try heroin. I swore I would never touch that drug in my life. Well I did. I did a little tiny line and after that, I was hooked.
I have been a heroin addict for a little over a year. At first, I would get high once a week. I wasn’t truly addicted to it [at this point]. I told myself I was fine and I would never get dependent on it. Well I was so wrong. Once a week turned into every single day. Every dollar I got went to heroin. I would steal from my mom, I wouldn’t pay my bills or even get food for the house. My job was getting in my way of getting high, so I quit my job. That is when my life spiraled out of control. My fiance and I got evicted from our house. and we ended up moving into a crappy apartment.
I then got my fiance into doing heroin also. We would spend all of our money on heroin. We never had money for [anything]. I decided this was it — I was done. I put myself into treatment and that lasted 2 weeks. I was back into the game once again. For another 5 months I was back into it more than I’d been before. I ended up getting my tax refund, which was about $6,000. I spent about $2,000 of that on heroin… in 2 weeks!
We bought a brand new TV with our taxes also. When the money was gone within that two weeks, we decided to pawn that brand new TV to get high. Well, [it ended up that] we couldn’t even do that because the screen shattered. Right then was when I stopped and thought to myself, why am I doing this? I just ruined a brand new TV I had for a week… just to get high. I had enough… I had enough of waking up with my first thought [being to get] high, and how I was going to get money to do it. I was sick of being broke and not having any money to do anything, like pay my bills.
I put myself back into treatment and I have been sober since March 13th, 2018. I am doing great! I love life being sober. It’s an amazing feeling. I don’t wake up and worry about getting high and having no money. I had a job interview and I didn’t have to worry about passing a drug test. That is by far the best feeling ever! Today my higher power gave me the hardest test in my recovery yet. I found a bag of heroin in my wallet. I freaked out, I was shaking and my “addict mind” came back, trying to rationalize why it was okay to do that bag. I called a friend and got through it. I had way more to lose than gain from a 30-minute high. I never thought I would have will power to throw that bag of heroin away, but I did. I couldn’t be happier to be in recovery and be clean!“