ART: The Apprehensive Addict

I’ve been to many invigorating AA meetings.  And I get it; some meetings are most certainly not as fulfilling as others.  Also, it’s plausible that some addicts or alcoholics might have had a negative experience related to attending a meeting, and it might be why he or she doesn’t continue to go.  This is part of the notion in which I believe strongly; there is not just one single method to attain recovery.  Further, what seems to work for one person might not be beneficial at all to another.

It’s a mixed bag for me.  I’ve been to some truly powerful and compelling meetings.  I’ve also been to dry, basically uninteresting meetings, too.  Nevertheless, I would love to discuss the time I attended a former home group’s usual weekly meeting and walked away from it feeling so incredibly inspired.  A fellow member had encouraged me to write my own prayers.  It was such a beautiful idea with which I knew I’d have fun.  Plus, this type of exercise can only aid in my daily quest for recovery!  (But still, don’t ever view recovery in future tense; it’s all about the one day at a time mantra!)  Prayer writing serves as a soothing way to carry out Step 11 in Alcoholics Anonymous, too.  When this older woman who told me after a meeting that she was writing her own prayers, I thought that it was a stroke of genius and it was during a time when I really felt like my entire prayer life was close to non-existent.

I don’t believe that you MUST drop to your knees from bed to pray every single morning, specifically in order to be the “good” sober person.  We know there is no such thing as a “good sober person.”  Of course, there are certain activities that we should make ourselves do; there are little practices that each and every one of us hates doing, but we all know that it is smart and logical in order to maintain our sobriety, clearly.  (No one ever said that getting sober and treading the pathway to recovery was a breezy process!)  A good example of this would be removing the phone numbers of old drinking buddies or drug dealers from your cell phone or just getting a new phone/phone number altogether.  Even though it seems like a huge pain, you know it is something that has to be done.  I went through that myself.  To be frank, I’m not one to dole out black-and-white advice when it comes to long-term sobriety (especially on the blog), but I wholeheartedly believe that any existing ties with active users or dealers must be cut.  It’s that simple.  I know, from arduous experience, that if there should be one iota of temptation, and then you do stumble upon the wrong person’s number, the end result of mixing the two is almost always catastrophic.  Really.

PrayerRequest2

In regards to prayer, you don’t have to necessarily kneel bedside with your hands crossed and your head facing down in order to be deemed good, or spiritual (has anyone noticed how haphazardly the term ‘spiritual’ gets tossed around in everyday speak?).  If we make an honest effort to silently recite prayers in our heads at some point during the day, or even rewrite prayers down in a cheap little, Five Below-style notepad (very good idea), then that means we’re maintaining our prayer lives.  We would know it deep down inside of ourselves.

So, without further ado, this is the first prayer I ever wrote, and it speaks to the concept of apprehension, in relation to addiction and recovery…

Apprehension Prayer

God, please watch over me.

As I tread into new ventures
That the experience
Teaches me,
Intrigues me,
And challenges me

For I will measure my strength

Proving this event approaching

To mirror my being

Never forgetting that soon
afterwards,
Thy will be done.

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