I used to maintain another online journal a few years ago, but it was a bit more personal. I spoke of all the changes and enlightenment I’d been experiencing as a wide-eyed newcomer to the recovery world. Scanning through old entries, I ended up towards the beginning of the blog, when I was only at one year of sobriety time. I thought I’d share the post on here, as reading it again as given me some wonderful perspective.
I was addicted to drugs and alcohol for several trying years, and I’m now pushing one whole year in recovery. I’m quite excited about it. I wouldn’t have been able to make it this long without a lot of things; there was no silver bullet. That’s how addiction is. Alcoholic Anonymous has truly served me well. We use something called the “Big Book” is AA which really is just a big blue book that teaches the readers the in’s and out’s about sobriety, with a great deal of real-life stories. Crazy, huh? What’s so nifty about it, though, is that it truly serves as an absolutely wonderful introduction to the program. And that’s because, when it was written, 75 years ago this year, that’s exactly what it was. AA was only just born then. Alcoholics were literally dying in the streets. There was no hope for them. Doctors just didn’t know what to do for these “people.” They tried to help, but they were really at a loss.
I love the Big Book. It’s like a Bible for people that go to AA and NA (Narcotics Anonymous). My intention with this blog, in general, is to help the addict that is still suffering and/or did suffer at one point. We are all still addicts and it’s important for us to keeping working with one another and to relate to one another. For people that didn’t experience addiction, you’re more than welcome to read the blog; the excerpts from the Big Book that I put up could be useful to you in your everyday life honestly. However, I am keeping this blog for me first and foremost, only because I would never want to break any of AA’s privacy traditions.
We Agnostics is probably one of my favorite chapters from the book because it got me so much better acclimated with the idea of God; it even got me more comfortable saying the word, ‘God.’ This is one of my favorite passages from the whole entire books actually:
We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe needs no God to explain it. Were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere.
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 49
I really believe that this passage helps drive home that key idea that my first sponsor did a really good job at pounding into my head. He told me that if I were so dead-set on having to know WHO exactly God was to know IF precisely there were a God, then that would be PLAYING God. I just really need the WILLINGNESS to believe. Ever since I heard that statement that’s truly how I’ve thought about the notion of a higher power, and I’ve had a strong relationship with mine ever since.